The beginning of a new life.....

A new chapter of my life will begin in another  46 hours... Getting 10A's is just the beginning.. The end will be a long long way to go... This is just the path I've taken.. But the road is far from ending..... What if I screw up on the first day??? WOuld I?? Or would i shine too much?? Or am I just thinking too much??? Although turning over a new leaf means forget the past and move on... I still miss my friends... I still miss YOU.... I still think of my friends.. I still think of YOU.... But I know they are happy with their lives...  They have their own path to take and I have mine... By our paths will intertwined one day... We won;t travel on parallel road.. We'll travel together in roads that will intersect in the future... Because we'll always be FRIENDS FOREVER... But.. YOU.... You're different.. We go separate from here on now.. Or have we been on separate roads all along?? Even when everyone else is happy for me.. You're the only one who didn't wish me... Not even till today... I really thought you could at least wish me or be happy for me.. But you don't even bother.. This so how much you care... I really felt forgetting you straight away, but somehow, even how much i try to forget.. you'll always appear in my mind.. my heart.... I hope the beginning of this new school life, I can try to forget you ad move on.. I really do.. If I don't... The its over for me..... 

阿信 & 丁噹 - 走火入魔 MV (完整版)

当我们同在一起 Together Theme Song

倪安東 (Anthony Neely) - 【Sorry That I Loved You (對不起,我愛過妳)】MV

tired....

I am so tired man... Been busy seeing people's blog... my eyes are like @.@ this already... Been typing meeting minutes trying to translate from english to malay.. OMG I'm so darn tired... My brain is so not working right... maybe cause its been doing nothing but rusting... Although it was in an emotional state of mind this week.. but other  than that the thinking skill side is so rusty.... I only think of you I guess... Maybe there is so much of you tat I have no place for other stuff... I'm also in a state that I'm sleepy but I can't sleep.... OMG... SPM results are going to be out in like, 3 days or 2??? What Am I to do?? What if its not what I or anyone else expected it to be?? Would I disappoint myself or others?? Or would be be in such a way that it shocked everyone..?? I hope it turns out good or else I'm dead... Ok.. I ca't think or type anymore.. I guess I'll end it here....

Justin Bieber - Never Say Never ft. Jaden Smith

为什么？？

如果真的爱一个人。
为什么要那么不开心？
为什么要瞒着对方 ..
为什么要自己受苦呢？
为什么不可以坦白呢？
为什么然自己痛苦？
为什么说谎？
为什么要一个人收那一个苦？
你懂不懂我会很心痛？
虽然我说我要忘记你，但是我也不会那么容易忘了你
我永远都会对你好
看到你痛苦我也很辛酸你可以开开心心的笑吗？
你可不可以不要隐瞒我。。。
从现在开始你可以对我说真相吗？
虽然，我对你来说只是一位姐姐或者是一位朋友，
我也不介意。。。
但是我真的不想看到你不开心。。。
虽然，我没有真正地望过去看你，因为我不敢
但是我感觉到你不开心， 我感觉到你很多心事。。。我就来开学了。。。
开学以后... 我也不懂几时才能再见到你
我很想看见你真正的对我笑。。
对不起。。。 我到现在都放不下我对你的爱...
我真的很想说...
我忘了...
我放下了...
但是... 我真的放不下...
虽然人生里, 没有什么放不下的事，但是你懂吗？
一些东西放不下，就是放不下..
没有为什么。。。
因为爱就是一个没有为什么的答案..我怎样努力也好，我也会想起你。。
No matter how much I try... I just can't just forget about you within a day or two.. even a month.. .. But I will always be there when you need me... Just give me a call and I'll answer you.... I really do.. Love you....

我以为。。。。

我真的以为，
我能忘记你。。。
我真的以为,
我能当什么事情都没有发生过
我真的以为,
我可以忘了我对你说的话
我还以为我们可以回到从前
那一段开心的日子
但是我发觉到
这是不可能的事 我看到你开心我应该开心
但是....
我看见你和她那么亲密，
我开心不到 ...
我逼我自己笑我逼我自己看起来很开心....
但是你懂吗？我有几痛苦，我很想哭
不过我逼我自己笑出来.....
我以为我自己人格分裂了....
我外表在笑但我内心在哭...
你有看到吗？
你有感觉到吗？
我猜你不懂吧！
到大家走了..
我真的以为我会哭出来..
我用金钱来换取快乐..
虽然我买了很多东西，
可是我的心情一点也没改变....
我一直想着你........
我在巴士上也再想这你....
多谢那一个人，
让我可以暂时忘记你。。。。


当我回到家，
我又想起你了。。。
我为什么那么笨。。。。
我为什么一直想着你？
我为什么忘不料你???
我为什么忘不了你？我为什么那么笨，以致对你念念不忘.....
我不懂为什么初回想到我们会有可能......
我现在后悔了...
我后悔那一天对你告白....
我本来就不应该爱上你...
我也不应该告诉你我对你有感觉....
我希望我未来这几天...
也不会再见到你。。。。
因为我不想再哭了。。。
我希望我下一次看见你的时候
我能忘记这一切。。。。
然后。。。。
真的对你笑。。。
我现在最后一次说 我爱你。


对不起我真的爱上了你。。。。
我要努力忘了你。。
加油！ 宝玲， 加油！！！
我一定能忘了你。。。。

I give up......

The first time I ever confess to a guy after so long.. I end up with an answer called I don't get what you mean,, Great... SHould I save my own embarassment and shut up and get lost?? or do I confront him again and tell him straight in the face that I like him??

Leaving............

I'll be leaving soon... Soon you don't have to see me anymore.. Soon enough you will forget me... Soon I'll only be apart of a memory that can easily be forgotten or a nightmare.. I don't know how you feel about me or do you even feel anything for me... But all I can say is I do have feelings for you.. Once I thought I only cared for you like a brother.. But I'm wrong... I'm concerned of your well being and everything you do... Even now I'm worried bout you no matter how much I try to forget you, I will dream of you.. It might just be stupid of me... But I can't sleep anymore.. I keep thinking bout.. I can't sleep till I get answer i guess.... But I already know the answer why am I still lying to myself and giving myself hope? If you would have wanted to say yes... You would have done it a long time ago... But I'm kinda stupid enough to still be bothered to miss you.. A crazy enough person to acquire insomnia because of you... I am crazy... Once college life starts, I hope I don't get messed up anymore.. i hoe to be more organized.. I don't think I'll ever get to see you anytime soon after this friday...  after that.. it will be hard for me to see you if I don't arrange it on purpose... If I'm wrong... then.., I'll leave everything to fate.. Let fate lead me to my destiny in this unforgiving world....

No regrets.... T_T

I tried to tell you face to face when I were spending time with you.. But All I did was just stare at you...All  I did was just stare.. How could I be so stupid.. Now I don't know when I can stare at you face to face anymore... I'm not sure when I can tell you I love You face to face anymore... But what I told you online is the truth... Whether you believe or not.. Or you pretend not to know.. I really have no idea what to do anymore.. But if I don't tell I might end up regretting it for th rest of my life and I wouldn't wanna regret that... I'm have regret quite a few thing I did and didn't do for a long logn time,... I wouldn't want loving you be a regret cos I was being a chicken... I really do Love you.. but if you don't accept me.. I'll accept the truth.. Its ok.. Then we will remain my brother.... Thats all..... I'm relieved I said it.. But I still am scared of your decision.. I swallowed my pride and said I lvoe you.. thats all that matters now.... T_T

WOw........

After training so long.. NC team.. ker shyn.. yit mey... poh kheng.. phooi wai.. and li may.... I've never thought they could actually win area comp... But now.. I think what I think don't matter because they even won state level... Its all the work of their trainers tommy.. kwon ki.. kah jun.. teck lee.... wan xin... and NA team.... NC team is our shining star and  tehy are the best of the best of selangor... They even broke SMK Perimbun's St. John record by entering state and now broke an even better record by winning state... They are going to NATIONALS...... I hope they can push through the obstacles and move forward,.. To continue training and working..... To be the best and Remain the best for all that is to it... I had  great time watching them grow.. Watching them train.. Helping them improve.. But my time is up and I hope they can continue thir work and make our division shine forever.. Love you guys always.....

Taylor Swift - Back To December

jay chou - Nocturnes (夜曲)

Lost.......................

I feel so lost.. Being out of the schooling days of highschool make me feel lost... I feel like I'm not needed anymore.. As though life is meaningless now that there is no aim....  Although I have an almighty aim.. But without cash, its an impossible dream.. Maybe it should only remain a dream like everything I had dreamt of... Like liking someone who is impossible to love and impossible for him to love me... Why is it I'm doing such unreasonable things? Why am I doing such Impossible things?? Why do I even try for doing such things?? No matter how much I care about someone... Nobody will realise that.. People will only think taht I'm being nice because I want something.. If I become all sweet and nice.. Some say I am trying to act cute.. But others just say I wanna hit on somebody.... especially a guy... I don't want to try anymore.. I give up on this impossible dreams that I've been chasing... I don't want to lead this life anymore... My own mother doesn't listen to what I want.. The only thing she does is rehect whatever I like and think by her what because she thinks its right.. If I rebel, she only scolds me and say I don't try to understand her circumstances..but has anyone thought of my feelings?? I don't want to have a life that I lead to make people happy. Even my own friends don't understand me.. I pretend don't know hey really think I'm stupid.. I'm not that stupid. When you do things or say things behind my back I know... Or even if I really know you guys don't think I'm that important and you can just ignore me, I pretend there is no such thing and live with it.. Fine now... I seriously can't stand it... You all do things according to what you guys want.. I don't want to bother I just stay as myself like I've always been since primary school.. I don't wanna be actor or be surrounded by actors... Cause I've had it.. I become a busy body trying be nice nand help others to celebrate or even plan somebody's event.. But what do I get?? for 5yrs now..I don't think you even remember my birthday... Has anyone planned a birthday party for me?? Has anyone thought of how I will feel if nobody celebrates my birthday? You say your busy.. But I think its just a excuse... You help me celebrate my birthday one month later and expect me to be surprised.. ok I am.. But its one month too late... The wound has already been scarred.. By mending it.. I think it would just make it a little better.. It wouldn't cure it... So I've decided now.. I don't care.. And I wont care... I only will care for those who really deserves me caring for.. Those who really are my Friends.. Those who really love me for me.. not love me by just saying it so that you can use me.. And for some people.. You don't have to keep disturbing me and making me paranoid byt messaging me stupid messages.. Its just wasting my credit by replying.. ou send me messages that annoy me to the max.. You expect me to reply you nicely?? Are you kidding me?? Are you seriously a nut job??? Hell of course I'm furious.. But no... instead of saying sorry you blame me for not messaging you nicely.. You a crack psycho you know that?? How am I suppose to message someone nicely or say nice things when your message comes either hurting my feelings or just plain annoying... Others.. When I  try messaging them nicely.. They just ignore my messages.. WTF!! I'm seriously pissed off... I'm trying to be nice you do this to me... I be evil you say I'm crap.. So why don't you just get lost.. I don't need a friend or a wanna be person like you to be my friend anymore..  Some are trying to be nice to be.. But being to nice is no good you know why? Because you almost message me 24/7 which seriously do major hell boredness to me.. Cause frankly speaking, I'm glad you appreciate me, but don't you think messaging me everyday and telling me how bored you are and what you have been doing every 10 minutes quite boring to e... Please grow up la.. come on... I am going to lead a whole new life in two weeks.. I have to wash away my old unhealthy thoughts,... Now i'm seriously being a lost fool who keeps thinking back.. what an idiot i was... Now i know.. being too nice or not nice is bad.. lest just say.. I have to be nice sometimes and be evil other times...

如果有一天...

如果有一天我们真的失去联络了，但并不是我把你们给忘了…而是我们有自己的忙了！请别怪我啊！因为我们是再也回不到像以前那样天天见面了…=D
> its from a friend which I think is quite true and its also how I feel.......
Life has pathways which lead to different places.. It is a decision making world as it leads to different road and there is a variety of choices to make.. Whether it is right or wrong,  it depends on the way you decide it to be.. And there should always be a road that leads you straight home no matter how busy the road you lead or how hard the road you took..  Home is where we begin our lives... Where our loved ones are... Friends are just a word and they are just people... But the word is meaningful if we appreciate each and every one of the friendship we had we each other. We have to appreciate who we have and what we have... Eventhough the road ahead if full of challenges and obstacles which may bring us to our downfall or our glory.. We must not forget those who had helped us and who had backed us up all these while...And I thank those who had help me and I look forward to those whom I'll meet in the future...

De reason of being.....

I Have to admit being recognize for the first time after o long by important people and you and the others really makes me happy for the first time af ter so long.. Even being with u since form 2 I didn't really get recognize by you and the others. Plus I had a whole year with u all but I didn't felt appreciated.. But uesterday.. It really change everything and my feelings of being there...  Maybe I with this contented feeling of mine.. I should leave and start another new life with hope... But I still can't forget about you.. WHat should I do?? Should I tell you before I leave or would it just be another disappointment???  WOuld you have any feelings for me? Or am i Just a big sister to you?? But by just your reaction when I told you how other people treat me... I know I'm not important but you know... Your really important to me... You thought me a lot of...  They thought me a lot too... I'm sorry