I miss you...

我很想念你。
我以为我能 忘记你。 
      All I could think about is you.. I can't seem to erase you out of my mind yet it seems you have already erased me out of yours.It seems I no longer exist in your world... You were nothing but a friend to me at first. Then why did I fall for you? Is it your sweet words or your sweet gestures.. I don't know.. But I know that I was only a friend to you. I know nothing could happen between us.. The gap between is so far. 

    At first I thought I could just put aside everything and just concentrate on being myself and study hard. But yet everytime I think of studying.. I think of you.. This two days which I have been sick with conjunctivitis... I stayed at home... The moment of silence this two days really got me thinking... All along I was just masking  my  feelings and telling myself that I've no feelings towards you.. I throw tantrum on facebook.. I say stupid things... But all I do and all I can think about is you... Yet.. do you care? I said I would grow up... But growing up is hard... Being matured all the time is tough.. Even being matured I need time and space to cry. I need someone's shoulder to cry on.. Yet the only thing I get when I cry is my pillow.. U said you would be my shield.. you said you would be wall.. yet those those were empty words which has no meaning but flirting is it true? I want to believe that its not... Yet you won't tell me if its true.. Come to think of it.. You've never open up to me.. not even once.. Maybe its because you don't trust me enough...  Because I'm not the one..

    我想太多了。我的错. 是我误会了你对我的友谊. 

   It has never been your fault. Yet I put all the blame on you. Its has always been my fault and my stupid thinking that got me into this.. Your a nice person.. All I want to remember is all the good memories of you and all the happy moments which you gave me... I'll erase all the bad ones which may have just been created by my own stupidity as to you ignoring me but in fact its just that I'm too sensitive. I'm being a brat and and an ignorant fool who is being in love with someone who is just being nice to me. >< All I can do now is just hope for the best and maybe one day the true person will come into my life like what God has planned. And not imaginary ones. I guess you still are important to me. But I'm just lying to myself. 
  
   Even till today, I have not forgotten every word you said to me.. I guess its just that I take things too seriously. I should forget now... I should be my old self... The self I have erased since I met you. Cover up the immature side of me forever. And leave the memories behind. I want to be a new me which was once me... The me that has forgotten what being nice to others meant. The me who never cares what people think and just do things as I like as long as I get what I want. Should I? Or should I stay being nice and get hurt by others' thoughts and my naiveness? I don't know. I don't want to lie to myself.. I don't want to lie to others. I just want to be me.. A me that is joyful and loveable but I do not want to be hurt anymore by my own mistakes and my own thoughts. So GOD. I'll let you decide my life now.. I will depend on you.. as you are my creator and I shall trust and obey you.. What comes ahead is the beginning of my new life... And those how want to be my friends I'll always be true to them and those who are busy with their life.. I'm just going to support them but I wouldn't disturb them anymore. if they want to find me I'll gladly be there for them. If not.. I'm just going to be okay with it... But for now... I'm still pondering about you.. for just another few more months until I get the hang of it... I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused and all the mistakes I have made... I will miss the time that you made me happy. But I'll live with the memories that has made me happy... cause I truly do miss you...

【那些年，我們一起追的女孩】電影主題曲《那些年》官方正式MV

胡夏 Hu Xia – 那些年 NA XIE NIAN (PINYIN)

又 回 到 最 初 的 起 点
yòu huí dào zuì chū de qí diǎn
记 忆 中 你 青 涩 的 脸
jì yì zhōng nǐ qīng sè de liǎn
我 们 终 於 来 到 了 这 一 天
wǒ men zhōng yū lái dào le zhè yì tiān
桌 垫 下 的 老 照 片
zhuō diàn xià de lǎo zhào piàn
无 数 回 忆 连 结
wú shù huí yì lián jié
今 天 男 孩 要 赴 女 孩 最 后 的 约
jīn tiān nán hái yào fù nǚ hái zuì hòu de yuē
又 回 到 最 初 的 起 点
yòu huí dào zuì chū de qí diǎn
呆 呆 地 站 在 镜 子 前
dāi dāi dì zhàn zài jìng zi qián
笨 拙 系 上 红 色 领 带 的 结
bèn zhuō jì shàng hóng sè lǐng dài de jié
将 头 发 梳 成 大 人 模 样
jiāng tóu fa shū chéng dà rén mú yàng
穿 上 一 身 帅 气 西 装
chuān shàng yì shēn shuài qì xī zhuāng
等 会 儿 见 你 一 定 比 想 像 美
děng huì ér jiàn nǐ yí dìng bǐ xiǎng xiàng měi
好 想 再 回 到 那 些 年 的 时 光
hǎo xiǎng zài huí dào nà xiē nián de shí guāng
回 到 教 室 座 位 前 后 故 意 讨 你 温 柔 的 骂
huí dào jiào shì zuò wèi qián hòu gù yì tǎo nǐ wēn róu de mà
黑 板 上 排 列 组 合 你 舍 得 解 开 吗
hēi bǎn shàng pái liè zǔ hé nǐ shě dé jiě kāi ma
谁 与 谁 坐 他 又 爱 着 她
shuí yǔ shuí zuò tā yòu ài zhe tā
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 拥 抱 你 拥 抱 错 过 的 勇 气
hǎo xiǎng yōng bào nǐ yōng bào cuò guò de yǒng qì
曾 经 想 征 服 全 世 界
céng jīng xiǎng zhēng fú quán shì jiè
到 最 后 回 首 才 发 现
dào zuì hòu huí shǒu cái fā xiàn
这 世 界 滴 滴 点 点 全 部 都 是 你
zhè shì jiè dī dī diǎn diǎn quán bù dōu shì nǐ
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 告 诉 你 告 诉 你 我 没 有 忘 记
hǎo xiǎng gào su nǐ gào su nǐ wǒ méi yǒu wàng jì
那 天 晚 上 满 天 星 星
nà tiān wǎn shang mǎn tiān xīng xing
平 行 时 空 下 的 约 定
píng xíng shí kōng xià de yuē dìng
再 一 次 相 遇 我 会 紧 紧 抱 着 你
zài yí cì xiāng yù wǒ huì jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ
紧 紧 抱 着 你
jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ
又 回 到 最 初 的 起 点
yòu huí dào zuì chū de qí diǎn
呆 呆 地 站 在 镜 子 前
dāi dāi dì zhàn zài jìng zi qián
笨 拙 系 上 红 色 领 带 的 结
bèn zhuō jì shàng hóng sè lǐng dài de jié
将 头 发 梳 成 大 人 模 样
jiāng tóu fa shū chéng dà rén mú yàng
穿 上 一 身 帅 气 西 装
chuān shàng yì shēn shuài qì xī zhuāng
等 会 儿 见 你 一 定 比 想 像 美
děng huì ér jiàn nǐ yí dìng bǐ xiǎng xiàng měi
好 想 再 回 到 那 些 年 的 时 光
hǎo xiǎng zài huí dào nà xiē nián de shí guāng
回 到 教 室 座 位 前 后 故 意 讨 你 温 柔 的 骂
huí dào jiào shì zuò wèi qián hòu gù yì tǎo nǐ wēn róu de mà
黑 板 上 排 列 组 合 你 舍 得 解 开 吗
hēi bǎn shàng pái liè zǔ hé nǐ shě dé jiě kāi ma
谁 与 谁 坐 他 又 爱 着 她
shuí yǔ shuí zuò tā yòu ài zhe tā
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 拥 抱 你 拥 抱 错 过 的 勇 气
hǎo xiǎng yōng bào nǐ yōng bào cuò guò de yǒng qì
曾 经 想 征 服 全 世 界
céng jīng xiǎng zhēng fú quán shì jiè
到 最 后 回 首 才 发 现
dào zuì hòu huí shǒu cái fā xiàn
这 世 界 滴 滴 点 点 全 部 都 是 你
zhè shì jiè dī dī diǎn diǎn quán bù dōu shì nǐ
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 告 诉 你 告 诉 你 我 没 有 忘 记
hǎo xiǎng gào su nǐ gào su nǐ wǒ méi yǒu wàng jì
那 天 晚 上 满 天 星 星
nà tiān wǎn shang mǎn tiān xīng xing
平 行 时 空 下 的 约 定
píng xíng shí kōng xià de yuē dìng
再 一 次 相 遇 我 会 紧 紧 抱 着 你
zài yí cì xiāng yù wǒ huì jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ
紧 紧 抱 着 你
jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 拥 抱 你 拥 抱 错 过 的 勇 气
hǎo xiǎng yōng bào nǐ yōng bào cuò guò de yǒng qì
曾 经 想 征 服 全 世 界
céng jīng xiǎng zhēng fú quán shì jiè
到 最 后 回 首 才 发 现
dào zuì hòu huí shǒu cái fā xiàn
这 世 界 滴 滴 点 点 全 部 都 是 你
zhè shì jiè dī dī diǎn diǎn quán bù dōu shì nǐ
那 些 年 错 过 的 大 雨
nà xiē nián cuò guò de dà yǔ
那 些 年 错 过 的 爱 情
nà xiē nián cuò guò de ài qíng
好 想 告 诉 你 告 诉 你 我 没 有 忘 记
hǎo xiǎng gào su nǐ gào su nǐ wǒ méi yǒu wàng jì
那 天 晚 上 满 天 星 星
nà tiān wǎn shang mǎn tiān xīng xing
平 行 时 空 下 的 约 定
píng xíng shí kōng xià de yuē dìng
再 一 次 相 遇 我 会 紧 紧 抱 着 你
zài yí cì xiāng yù wǒ huì jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ
紧 紧 抱 着 你
jǐn jǐn bào zhe nǐ

Wishing for an answer... 120 stars....

I started to fold stars the other day... Since you started to be too busy to talk to me..  ... I just folded stars while wishing I could know the truth.. Questions pop out of my head.. r u ignoring me? i guess not.. thinking too much...Did i say or do something wrong... thinking too  much oso.. You're busy? yeah.. thats wat u said... i made a selfish wish..如果时间能停止在我们开心的时候，那么多好哪！I know its wrong and selfish.. >< But I really miss the days you message me whole day long... But.. now.. the silence of my phone... the coldness of your messages is so deafening.. >< the silence creeps me out... >< I just wished so much.. But... mostly I wish you all the best in everything you do... As long as you are happy thats enough for me... You started to mean something to me.. But I didn't know when it started... You still are. But I know I'm only a friend to you..Your an important friend i don't wanna lose... All I can do is blog and stay behind you.. Hoping one day you know that I'm there.. I should stop it now.. I should start studying.. > Knowing that you were there for me last time when I was studying... but now.. I'm alone.. >< I was really happy the last few months... You made me smile and laugh from inside out... Not just smiling for the sake of smiling like I used to do.. But I really smiled from the inside out.. But now.. aI guess everyone has their own time do grow up and to have their own lives. Not everyone is like me.. immature and thinking too much.... My second last wish... I wish I get to be happy even thinking about you cause you were the light of my day... and it reminds me to smile.... And my last wish is for you to be happy no matter what you do and to remember me as a friend or whatever I was to you... and smile in every situation..... Do not change for the sake of others... Change for yourself....

Simple Plan - Astronaut [New Music Video]

"Astronaut"

Can anybody hear me?
Or am I talking to myself?
My mind is running empty
In the search for someone else
Who doesn't look right through me.
It's all just static in my head
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down? (come down)
'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round (and round)
Can I please come down?

I'm deafened by the silence
Is it something that I've done?
I know that there are millions
I can't be the only one who's so disconnected
It's so different in my head.
Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot
Can I please come down? (come down)
'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round (and round)
Can I please come down?

Now I lie awake and scream in a zero gravity
And it's starting to weigh down on me.
Let's abort this mission now
Can I please come down?

So tonight I'm calling all astronauts
All the lonely people that the world forgot
If you hear my voice come pick me up
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

And tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
And I lost all signal when I lifted up
Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot

'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
Sending SOS from this tiny box
To the lonely people that the world forgot
Are you out there?
'Cause you're all I've got!

Can I please come down?
'Cause I'm tired of drifting round and round.
Can I please come down? [x3]

I'm sorry I let you get hurt again...

Dear heart,

   I’m sorry… I’m sorry for letting you to be hurt once again due to my lack control and naïve-ness I fall for someone who is just nice to me and close and dear to me. But the person doesn’t feel the same way I did. I thought he did but actually he doesn’t. I’m just another friend and that clearly shows how stupid and naïve I am… I clearly am not ready for any challenges.. I’m obviously too childish to believe in fairy tale… I’m crazy enough to think it would work and I’m to let my heart open up again…. >< The fact I just let my heart open up and to break down the walls.

 A year ago, I promised myself that I would harden myself up and to just stopped letting myself get hurt over and over again… I’m sorry I broke my promise towards you my dear fragile heart… I’ve been such a bad person for letting you get hurt..  I’m sorry for letting the wall that protects you to be torn down. I’m sorry for letting go of the shield which protects you from harm. I’m sorry for being a selfish person who just feel so uneasy and so unprotected when I’m alone, I just let you go so easily.  I realize I’m too naïve and I’m easily monopolized.. ><

I’m sorry again… But I promise you and I will keep this promise…  I will wait for you to be ready before I open up again… I’m going to ensure you remain enclosed in all the insulators and shields I can ever find.. I will never again let you go unprotected. I will go to the ends of Earth to protect you. I will never again be the easy prey… the easy target… or the stupid naïve person Anymore…! I really am scared.. I’m scared I couldn’t keep that promise… But I will try my best.! I have too soft a heart and I get manipulated easily.. I will harden up.. I will…

Forever and always.. the word I love you! Its easy to say.. not easy to keep.. I miss you.. Its just another phrase if you don’t mean it… I really am worried about you.. do something about it instead of just saying it… I care about you.. show it to me… I would love to hug you and comfort u.. be there for me.. and really do hug me.. Criteria which fails every time… Only words… but never action… but yet… I still fall for it everytime… why?? Is that why love is blind or does it again show I’m stupid and naïve? I really doubt myself… but it’s the part where I get emotional and I cry non-stop even while typing this.. T_T

I’m going to be selfish not because I am.. But I just don’t  want to get hurt no more… I just am sick of being toyed around… Being treated as though I’m the easy target cause I look and am vulnerable. I going to prevent myself to be hurt.. Yet I want him to be happy? I’m not a person who fakes caring and loving… but I’ll always be there for him whenever he needs me.. But I’m just too scared to oopen up anymore. Cause I felt like I’m annoying him also..  So I’ll take a step back…. A big step for all to be free and for all to have time to think…. Whether or not you are mine? God will decide… I will let go of everything and everyone I ever loved or liked.. If I’m meant to be with you… you will be mine… and I will be yours… but for now… I am alone….

                                                                                                                                                      Yours truly..

                                                                                                                                                        Pauline…

Looking through your eyes

Song from The Corrs and Bryan White for the film "Quest for Camelot".

Look at the sky tell me what do you see

Just close your eyes and describe it to me

The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight

That's what I see through your eyes

I see the heavens each time that you smile

I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles

And suddenly I know why life is worthwhile

That's what I see through your eyes

That's what I see through your eyes

Here in the night, I see the sun

Here in the dark, our two hearts are one

Its out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun

And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes

I see a night I wish could last forever

I see a world we're meant to see together

And it is so much more than I remember

More than I remember

More than I have known

Here in the night, I see the sun

Here in the dark, our two hearts are one

Its out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun

And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes

Looking through your eyes

Looking through your eyes