A day out with min yang dear... ^^ (21 Oct 2011)

On 21st October 2011 was a memorable day cause It was the last day of trials and its an awesome day cause I went Mid Valley with my dear after exams... ^^ After exam I went to the bus stop to take the bus to mid valley.. I was so blur blur after the exams I didn't know what bus I was getting on.. I just know that its going to Mid valley.. LOL.... then I told dear I was on bus U68..lol... When I reached the bus stop nearby Mid valley i started to walk lo.. Then i heard foot steps behind me.. then somebody tap my head.. >< luckily something told me not to fight.. or else dear dear face also become blue black le... LOL..
But I was suprised to see min yang there lo... ^^ then he bought vitagen for me... ^^ muackzz..  Then we headed into MV.. We went to the GSC counter to line up to get our tickets.. But when it was our turn... the ticket we were exchanging free tickets for was unavailable.. LOL.. fail!! haha.. so while thinking of what movie to watch... dear's buddy yu xiang came with his friends to buy tickets too... So we decided to watch movie together lo.. Watch 'The Cat'.. korean ghost movie... T_T.. The movie is at 1.45pm... and at that time it was only 11am plus plus/..  So dear and I  went lunch together at Kim Gary;... LOL... After we finish eating.... We walk and walk and walked till about,1.30.. We went to pet's world... almost went to play bowling but int he end didn't go... LOL... arcade smelly so dun wanna go... so walk around only lo.. LOL... Then we went to buy pop corn and drinks.. kekeke... Met so many MCKL-ians... MV was crawling with my college people.. hahaha.... We continued our day watching movie lo.. By suprise min yang's friends all went for the same movie.. LOL... and sat next & behind of us...  The movie scare me scare dao.. >< After the movie we went and ate snowflake... ^^ first time i ate snowflake... and first time eat with dear oso... ^^ Then we went home luu...Dear fetch me home.. LOL.. but... dear dunno how to go homeafter dropping me off.. summore got lost and car break down(got smoke).. scare me only.. luckily after that nothing o.. den safely reach home.. kekkee.. happy day.. Thanks dear for the whole enjoyable day and I feel bad that you have to pay for everything co you don't let me pay.. Next time I pay ok?? Hehehe...

Posts...

Some people tend to share, re-post and re-blog stuff on facebook... tumblr.. even blog... but Does it even mean a thing? To me yes.... Especially me... I mean what I post.. When I post i miss you.. i really do.. When i post I hate you.. i really do too... Its just that somehow this pictures or words are expressing what I don't know how to say... But all this posts.. really tell my story... If you collect them in a page like I did.. it told my story and what I actually want.. But people only know how to press on reblog or like button as though its just another post.. >< I'm disappointed to see people liking the post but never act on it...  Its like saying I love you and I care about you so much... but don't do anything about it... Having exams are my toughest times and I often get lost and cry... >, this time it changed cause somebody actually cared and told me not to stress.. Easier to said than done... But the messages i received meant something.. That I'm not alone and somebody does care... But.. Am I going to wait for that person to message me everytime I have exams?? What if he doesn't sent the messages? Am i just gonna cry like a baby? NO! I must grow up now...! And this is the best time.... I have to get trough it.... NO help.. no mre.... I'm scared losing you one day might make me cry even more...

photos form tumblr posts....
wanna see more?? go to my tumblr... ^^

 

But there is always someone else... How I could I feel safe? ><

A different day....

Today is not a nice day to start with... Had to go to the doctor and wake up so early on a weekend.. >_<. But today is also not a good a day for me because the sunshine of my day is too busy.. >< My days technically change from very very blue mornings to bright sunshine everytime I receive ur good morning message... ^^ But one day without your messages I get restless and.. etc... Today your only reply was.. rushing to skul... >< I prayed that you would be alright cause i really don't know if you are alright because you didn't message me when you reach college... >< I wanted to text you.. but I'm afraid I might disturb you... So I just pray everything is alright. >< worried ar.... T_T  Then when I went to the doctor, I'm considered healthy... but when I play sports I easily get injured.. WHY? Doctor oso dont know.. Nothing to check... Now my hand for no reason is injured when i was supposed to check my leg.. >< Now my hand is painful and doctor say its only and overstretch nerve.. But I didn't do anything.. >< how to over stretch???  Arghhh... >< painful liek mad... no medication.. How?? pain lo...  I had fun though walking at petaling street.. eat walk. eat walk.. den jam all the way cause three roads become one.. Aiyo.. KL traffic is really in chaos.. >< Then went to collect my die ed punya phone... But my phone remains dead till today... >< even now... Now still.. studying while waiting for you to be free to message me.. But I know you busy having fun with your frens sure wont reply de la..... dun wanna disturb u.. Bloggie bloggie is my only way.. >< haiz.... Going crazzy jor la... my brains cramping so many thing and feelings... Going to explode... MAMI ar!!!! feel like crying, but for wat? feel like sleeping but not sleepy... want to study but not in the mood.. ><.. ish... CHillax la brain!!!...

Min Yang dear... lol....

min yang... ^^
curi from fb... lol...

Its kinda weird posting bout someone who reads my blog... But since you requested.. Then I'll spend time to write bout you la... ^^ muackzz... Its weird how I got to know you.. Hahaha.. very sampat post.. >< lol... Our parents know each other since way back when... I might have seen you more than 10 times.. But I only remember seeing you twice... LOL... How can this be?? I really dunno le.. hehehe.. But I'm glad after the previous meeting at grace's party.... I got to know you and  get to know you more.. ^^ And it also shows how small is our country.... Now I message you everyday.. LOL.. Don't message you one day oso I get a very weird feeling.. >< I will miss you leh....  ^^ why neh? i oso dunno... You are very very very very weird person(special) u say ur shy...? but how can u be shy when you message me like that? hehhee... But funny thing is.. I'm really really fond of calling people.. when I get worried... but then.... you say you do not know to speak properly? shy? lol.. So I don dare to call you... >< but I hope one day we can actually talk in voice conversation instead of typing only.. ^^ But thanks again for editing my photo dear... ^^ very nice... Your actually the first person ever to edit my photo and also for me to send you my pic... LOL... why I send to you? Dunno... Cos i trust u..? most probably.. ^^ hehe... thx for missing me too although you were busy busy soing admin stuff in uni... Btw.. Congratz again.. At least you got to be a part of the admin like you wanted... But pls... Take good care of yourself ok? will be worried bout you if you get sick... >< Don't keep getting gastric... Not safe and not good for you ar... But I thank God for the encounter with you and getting to know such an awesome person like you...... I'm glad that I met you... ^^It

picture credit to min yang,... ^^  thx.

my tumblr...

http://silverstarpauline.tumblr.com/

I had it coming..

I knew if I told the truth... Nothing will be the same again.. And I'm right... It will never be the same.. Because it happens all the time! And this is not my first nor is it my second but it is more than that and this is the thing that hurt most. But i kinda developed something called don't care! I developed a skill which put smiles on my face when i cry inside. I developed new thoughts called It never happened! But this is all just a lie to keep my heart in tact and not let break into pieces.. But am I truly happy? Only time can tell... >,< Will I heal? NO! medicine? Not even the best or most expensive can heal me.. Not even when i try... So why do I bother trying when it is always broken? I should just have kept and let it go... and i guesss.. now is the best time... Its to end a suffering that caused my breakdowns and heartbreak... ><

why? why do i get hurt?

A simple answer to that is because I trust people too easily... Its because I have not shielded myself properly... I let people penetrate into my life just as simple as picking a lock.. I do not like to say NO... and I certainly do not know how to control my feelings. I cannot help but think too much..
I get so easily taht I'm supposed to get use to it... but Everytime it happens.. The pain never stops.. but it get worse... I don't liek it happening.... I don't lettting myself get hurt.. But what can I do? Its opens back so many bad memories.. >,< The worst... Those i cry remembering... I just can't be treated so nice... I tend to fall for a person who is too nice  to me... i can't help it.. why? WHy does is always happen to me?  Why would God wanna hurt me over and over again? Yes I know I'm naive.. I know I'm too vulnerable... I know I'm too soft.. Though I act tough. but I'm still a girl...I can be a superwoman in the day... but at night when i crawl into my bed.. I'm still a girl who prays to u and say God.. Please send someone who will love me for me... but... U didn't answer my call... I know you have planned something for me... but.. I just cant help but think.. Is it too much to ask for? I know doubting you is wrong. I know you are right... but I just can't help myself.... You have given me tonnes of frens  who cared who was nice... I thank you for that... I have been havign this question for a long time now... Should I just stop thinking? Block out all my feelings? Ignore everything... And only care bout myself? I really don't know.. But if there is a trigger I guess it will happen the next time I get hurt.. Cause I have enough of pain already.. Enough to trigger a shutdown and blockout button! Maybe I'm just being selfish.. but... I cant help it if it means for me to be safe... ><

Tong Hua (Fairy Tale) - Guang Liang

So who's going to my story for me when I'm gone? Who's going to remember my story? When can I start saying our story?