Thirst : Malaysian Short Film (Multilingual)

Oh man... this brings back so much sweeet sweet sweet memories which I will never forget.. the times we had and when we watched it and laugh together.. ^^ The sweat u guys put in to create this video... How much i miss them... T_T being in the new class... Despite getting to know new people and laugh and joke and new memories. I still love and miss the times we had in s1103beta.. I miss you guys soooooooooo much... I cried while watching this again man.. although i;m not in it or part of making it.. I just love it.. I love them soo much.. ><

David Choi - Missing Piece - Official Music Video

Missing Piece Lyrics
By: David Choi

I feel like a boat without a sailor
I go where the wind blows
Just moving around like a lonesome stranger
I got no home

In search of a treasure
Some place I don't know
It feels like forever
I'm making my way
Through the hills and deserts
I thirst for hope

I don't know
What I'm looking for
But I'll know
When I find it

There is a missing beat
Inside of me
The rhythm of my heart
Hits unevenly
There's a missing piece
Inside of me

Trying to figure it out
But it amounts to nothing
I want to realize
But nothing I find
Ever feels like the real thing
Can you empathize?

I don't know
What I'm looking for
But I'll know
When I find it

Chorus

I'm lost inside
A cold bitter world
I can't understand the need
It's makes it so hard to breathe

Chorus

"david choi" "missing piece" "that girl" "by my side" "music video" davidchoimusic "this and that is life" "forever and ever"

Pre , Mids and Post exams..

Exams are finally over. What suppose to be the end is again a new beginning where i'm about to start all over but this time in a place I know well.. A place which I have befriended such good people. A place I can call home. ^^ There is nothing more precious than friends whom I treasure. People whom I have met through tough times who have helped me climbed the mountain and through the terrains.. I thank God for bringing me to Methodist College. It has been a tough 2  months of intense studying and revising. Despite so, I know I did do as well as I expected to but I hope the last minute revising and discussion helped even just a little. God gave me his strength wisdom and courage to continue this journey. I am weak but I became strong. I realize there are many things that I took for granted during this whole exam period. And I thought wrong bout some people. People whom I thought we're my friends, didn't even bother celebrating my birthday for me because it was exam period. Well can't u at least get a cupcake? Sorry? I tried to be understanding. But I know I thought wrong. But I thank God for letting me see who they really are. And what I am really to them. Because it is not worth my time anymore to help this person celebrate and to spend so much time planning for other people. I actually spared time for them and 5 minutes to them is wasting time to celebrate with me? I realize I shouldn't be stupid anymore. I thought if I give my heart, I would get heart. I guess all I got was wind. This was a challenge God gave me. I guess I screwed it up this time round. All I ask for is a simple appreciation. Is that so hard? being important to people is not what I should do. I should put God first  because God is the only one who did not push me away, who did not, not have time for me and who was always there beside me. I'm sorry God that I have put so many things before you. and only come to you when I need you..  Thank you to my family who has helped me and gave me so much time and effort to help me. I owe them so much..
Throughout the whole exams I made fatal mistakes for going out and spending not more than 8 hours per day studying. I only used 6 and sometimes 7 if I am in college. I know I have lost more precious time than anyone in the world.. So stupid of me.. It's a habit I have to change. But I messed up my room and my living room. notes and papers flying everywhere like war zone.. hahha. My table is full of sticky pad paper. writings and colourful highlighted stuff.. And also I found something while packing. haha.. brings back memories when I was chairperson  in St. John of my school.... .

   

hahaha.. Now it is all clean.. well at least I think it is... No picture cause mom sleeping there.. oopps.. there a lot of things I wanna talk about and anger which I wanna post. But somehow my instinct just told me that if I do say it and post it. I don't thik we would be friends anymore. So yea. From today on. I live for myself to serve God. Not serving others. Because to them I sound selfish. but did they ever look in the mirror? and did they reflect their image and look  at it? I know humans may be selfish but I'm not the only one. And I did not force nor promise anything. I just ask and I wanna express my own feeling. You promised and you broke it, it's not my fault. I agree it's my fault for asking last minute but it was almost 8 hours away. You said yes and I am to blame for you cancelling on me 2 hours before or 10 second before and 30 minutes later? Just reflect. I thought of having fun. But it just spoiled my whole day. I feel so bad for playing like crap due to bad stamina with Chee Lee.. hahaha. And yu xiang for listening me whine.. And sorry if you had to read this piece of crap.. ><

Pre SPM 2010.. Happy days...

I miss those times with my  buddies when we used to study together without teacher in the class. All the laughter., The discussions.. and the laboratory moments while we do experiments. Suddenly realize all those things i miss doing with you all. The fact we don't come into terms all the times which make us quarrel and fight yet we are still best friends today shows how much fun we had together.Even till now to keep the fire between all of us burning is hard but I know it will and it can continue to burn in my heart but will it in yours? I'm happy to have memories with all of you and I know time is short and forgetful. I hope this memories kept in me last forever. While studying I just remember and miss you guys so badly I have to look through all the old pictures.
I know I'll regret spending blogging now as I will be sitting for my exams in 4 days but I just can't help it. I enjoy blogging as it is part of my life where I can say whatever I want without anyone judging me. I'm sure all that is precious and memorable will be part of my life always. But the past is one thing I miss and love the most.

Just like when we were kids, we wish to grow up... Now it's the opposite where we wish to be a kid again where we can enjoy being happy the whole day without no sorrows and heartbreaks or money and exams. The only thing we worry about is not having colour pencils and colouring books or what time is our favourite cartoon showing. I'm just in the mood of saying whatever I want now. So if you are reading, do bare in mind that I'm talking from everything to nothing and to whatever that comes into my mind. LOL.

I have a bad habit of keeping photos and stuff in one place that if something happens, it is all gone. What happened was my pendrive sort of died, as I gave a pendrive with everything in it to my mum and the smart person who used it tried to use his antivirus to 'wash' away the virus. Now all my stuff are gone. T_T sobss.. but all I can savour is bits and pieces of memories that I have and bits and pieces of memories all over the place. But there still is memories so I'm glad I can find the bits and pieces. Although I've lost a big piece. sobss.. Ok this is all for now as I really need to study. Enjoy my secondary school time pictures.. It's funny. But next time after my exams.. I'll post one blog with all the class pictures from form1 till form 5.. hehe.. something to laugh and  have a memorable time looking at it for those who were in the same class with me, ^^

Froggie Dissection

 Labs.. birthdays... study... and more..

                                                   The class' cute couple staring at each other.

I have no idea what is he staring at....

\

                                            they love being superman and ultraman = WEIRD.
                                                                but I LOVE THEM.. ^^

                                                                   The Ultra sweet couple

                                 Despite the quarrels and craziness we're still happy being with each other.
Hope we maintain this friendship forever and after. ^^ I love you guys soooo much.. especially my BFF's
sin nee, stephanie, sheau huei, pennie, chit fei, bee teng, cheng hong. ken ren. wei lek, hon nam. ^^

Another drop of water..

I may just be another drop of water in the sea or a tree in the forest, but I do have feelings too. I don't usually express my feelings in front of most people. Although I do blog or maybe post something on facebook stating that I'm furious but deep inside I'm just another weak girl who cries a lot. NObody actually seen me crying much.  The reason behing all these toughness is the life that I had to live through. Many people in this world suffer more than I do, I know but I too suffer mental problems despite looking healthy. I not only a shell you know. I'm brought up from a kid as a spoil little girl. My daddy and mummy and brother loves me so much and gets me everything I want until that day! That day when My daddy fell ill and my world change drastically. I'm no longer the center if attention. We no longer have a source of income. Daddy was no longer healthy. He can't tall, he can't walk and he can't even lead a normal life anymore. Mommy had to take care of him day and night with my brother. I was only 7 or 8. I can't do anything.
Later when I started to grow up, I didn't have the experience everyone had and or even the experience my brother had going holidays around the world with mummy and daddy. Though mummy tried her best giving me what I want but financial income is always the problem. I just thank God that we have all the financial support given to us enough to give us a warm home and an average life..  Later in life, I lost my beloved daddy but at least he doesn't have to suffer anymore.. But since young I realized life ain't as easy as it looks. And I made a promise to be a doctor. A good one. helping people in need and poor. It is also due to the fact my daddy died due to sickness like high blood pressure and diabetes and atherosclerosis which caused stroke and so on which led to his bed ridden experience and incapable to live life on his own. But at least I spend a lot of time with him. When I woke up that morning knowing that he passed away. I bang my head on the wall literally to just wake up from the dream. I kept telling myself it was a dream and it only happens on the television. But it wasn't. I was real and I had to accept the fact that he'll be gone forever. Miracles do happen when I actually got straight A's during UPSR despite being week in maths and science.
After that I was even more determined than ever to be the best student and to be able to obtain scholarships to study abroad. I had visions of studying abroad. I struggled through the first year. Using everything at my disposal even friendships and relationships. I regret hurting my someone I hold dear and loved. I'm sorry. But it is to hold my stand or else I wont be in that school anymore and everything might change. I was selfish. I was bossy. everyone hated me because I was arrogant. I grew and grew getting to know my faults and places I went wrong. trying to fix what wasn't right but all the damage is done. Fixing it is possible but long and hard. I tried to mend things and improve myself. At last I had good friends. I had enemies. I still do. But I know who are real and who are fakes.
You can say that it is a gift or just whacky thoughts, but to me I'm super sensitive. I know who is faking and who is real. I can differentiate a persons real personality and faking rubbish personality. Sometimes I ignore sometimes it gets on my nerves. It's possible to see and it's possible for me to actually determine what that person will do next. You can say I'm a strategist or you can say I'm a pessimistic. Either one. But one thing is true that I always think ahead. Despite being the best student in whole form 5 and the best in ko-kurikulum. I wasnt able to land myself a scholarship abroad. Maybe God's will is for me to study in Malaysia,. I don't mind. as long as I can study. But now, even my dream to be a doctor is one the edge. My results aren't good enough ad I'm going to waste half a years time and extra money to sit for another semester and exam.
Eventhough I do everything and give it my all to please my mom, I'm not the person I used to be. I was quiet and I obey everything you say but now I'm close to 20 and I have my own thinking. WHy do you keep nagging and scolding me for things you want me to do but I don't want to do? I'm not a child anymore I can make my own wise decision. And you being angry because too many cousins are thrashing the house then don't invite them! or scold them? why the hell you want to release your anger on me? I scold them You scold me. I do nothing you scold me? So what do you want me to do hang myself and die? I had enough of stress. I have enough of worries. I have enough of burden. Why do you keep pushing me to the edge.? When you are angry you get to scold me and bang doors. When I'm am angry I don't get to put my anger else where? If this keep going I might just blow up one day and suicide is not the only thing at mind. Sometimes I really had so much thing going on in my head that I have the feeling of death. But then I realized that It's stupid and unapproved by God. But I dont know when I can last till. My limits are reached long ago. But I'm still trying to strive on...
Sometimes when the going gets tough, I try seeking friends or someone who could actually listen to me and just let me scream it all out. I just want someone who actually lends me a shoulder to cry on when I'm out of my mind. Is that so hard? Or just someone who can spend a day out so that I don't spend a day at home thinking and going crazy. Is that so hard? Do you have to ignore me and just say your busy all the time or too tired? I'm sorry I'm being selfish but I really need someone to talk to. >< Even when I found someone I really can click to and could talk to or even someone I actually  have feelings for, it doesn't last long until that person starts to have their own life and I'm sort of the past. I just don't know what to do and so lost sometimes I seek God. God tells me to be patient and be strong. But my heart is already in pieces. I know God you have the best plan for me but I'm in pieces. people walked in and walked out of my life as though I'm some kind of door mat but I living breathing human with heart beating every second. I cry. I laugh.
But all in all, I just can't be the one person I used to be before. I'm outgoing and smile and i'm very feisty now. But I used to be quiet and sweet. I can still be but it is not as long I stand alone to fight this life and this challenges. I hope you understand that I may have a different personality when I talk to you one on one and when I talk to you in public because I'm still alone until the day I feel protected and safe.  this is my story and I hope it will have a happy ending.