Min Yang dear... lol....

min yang... ^^
curi from fb... lol...

Its kinda weird posting bout someone who reads my blog... But since you requested.. Then I'll spend time to write bout you la... ^^ muackzz... Its weird how I got to know you.. Hahaha.. very sampat post.. >< lol... Our parents know each other since way back when... I might have seen you more than 10 times.. But I only remember seeing you twice... LOL... How can this be?? I really dunno le.. hehehe.. But I'm glad after the previous meeting at grace's party.... I got to know you and  get to know you more.. ^^ And it also shows how small is our country.... Now I message you everyday.. LOL.. Don't message you one day oso I get a very weird feeling.. >< I will miss you leh....  ^^ why neh? i oso dunno... You are very very very very weird person(special) u say ur shy...? but how can u be shy when you message me like that? hehhee... But funny thing is.. I'm really really fond of calling people.. when I get worried... but then.... you say you do not know to speak properly? shy? lol.. So I don dare to call you... >< but I hope one day we can actually talk in voice conversation instead of typing only.. ^^ But thanks again for editing my photo dear... ^^ very nice... Your actually the first person ever to edit my photo and also for me to send you my pic... LOL... why I send to you? Dunno... Cos i trust u..? most probably.. ^^ hehe... thx for missing me too although you were busy busy soing admin stuff in uni... Btw.. Congratz again.. At least you got to be a part of the admin like you wanted... But pls... Take good care of yourself ok? will be worried bout you if you get sick... >< Don't keep getting gastric... Not safe and not good for you ar... But I thank God for the encounter with you and getting to know such an awesome person like you...... I'm glad that I met you... ^^It

picture credit to min yang,... ^^  thx.

my tumblr...

http://silverstarpauline.tumblr.com/

I had it coming..

I knew if I told the truth... Nothing will be the same again.. And I'm right... It will never be the same.. Because it happens all the time! And this is not my first nor is it my second but it is more than that and this is the thing that hurt most. But i kinda developed something called don't care! I developed a skill which put smiles on my face when i cry inside. I developed new thoughts called It never happened! But this is all just a lie to keep my heart in tact and not let break into pieces.. But am I truly happy? Only time can tell... >,< Will I heal? NO! medicine? Not even the best or most expensive can heal me.. Not even when i try... So why do I bother trying when it is always broken? I should just have kept and let it go... and i guesss.. now is the best time... Its to end a suffering that caused my breakdowns and heartbreak... ><

why? why do i get hurt?

A simple answer to that is because I trust people too easily... Its because I have not shielded myself properly... I let people penetrate into my life just as simple as picking a lock.. I do not like to say NO... and I certainly do not know how to control my feelings. I cannot help but think too much..
I get so easily taht I'm supposed to get use to it... but Everytime it happens.. The pain never stops.. but it get worse... I don't liek it happening.... I don't lettting myself get hurt.. But what can I do? Its opens back so many bad memories.. >,< The worst... Those i cry remembering... I just can't be treated so nice... I tend to fall for a person who is too nice  to me... i can't help it.. why? WHy does is always happen to me?  Why would God wanna hurt me over and over again? Yes I know I'm naive.. I know I'm too vulnerable... I know I'm too soft.. Though I act tough. but I'm still a girl...I can be a superwoman in the day... but at night when i crawl into my bed.. I'm still a girl who prays to u and say God.. Please send someone who will love me for me... but... U didn't answer my call... I know you have planned something for me... but.. I just cant help but think.. Is it too much to ask for? I know doubting you is wrong. I know you are right... but I just can't help myself.... You have given me tonnes of frens  who cared who was nice... I thank you for that... I have been havign this question for a long time now... Should I just stop thinking? Block out all my feelings? Ignore everything... And only care bout myself? I really don't know.. But if there is a trigger I guess it will happen the next time I get hurt.. Cause I have enough of pain already.. Enough to trigger a shutdown and blockout button! Maybe I'm just being selfish.. but... I cant help it if it means for me to be safe... ><

Tong Hua (Fairy Tale) - Guang Liang

So who's going to my story for me when I'm gone? Who's going to remember my story? When can I start saying our story?