'Friends' it seems..

Many times I thought it was of my own imagination or maybe it's because of me being too sensitive about some things. But I guess I am right about the fact that my friends aren't friends after all.. It isn't because of the reason for not being invited for something once or twice. It's the the things they do and say behind your backs despite you  not knowing the whole story but the fact they  did is unforgiveable. I admit, maybe I'm kind of jealous since they had so much fun without me there but, on the other hand, I may not be the one at loss because true friendship is not about having fun but it is about having that moment to share together. If being friends is about popularity and only having fun, then it's kind of pre-school idea of having friends.

If a person keeps giving and giving, one day that person will just get tired because the person will have nothing left to give as everything has been given out and nothing is coming back.Friendship is the same, when somebody keeps giving their trust, their love and their effort but all they get is shit, or all you could get is their cold shoulders, that person will give up and apparently, I just did.

Someone made me realize that, some people tend to only care about those who do not usually turn up and usually 'fong fei kei'. And people like me who always turn up no matter what because we really care about this friendship tends to be taken for granted that we would be there any time and day.

I hate the feeling of being left out! I know I may be busy at times but, can you at least notify me that there is such event even if I can't go? Can you actually try to actually think how I would feel if I turn on my facebook and see you people here and here doing this and that. It is an awesome surprised because that's one of the worst day of my life. Cause my 'best' friends when on a trip without me even knowing plus there is this idiot there with them! Even and idiot but the fact that I didn't even know this event exist. But I eventually knew they they ASSUMED I wasn't free. I admit, I am busy on that date, but did you try to ask for another day? Did you try asking? and did it even cross your mind that I exist as a friend not just a human being which is on your damn facebook or ex-classmate list? Fine I let that one slip because I still care about this friendship. Now a second time, do I always have to hear this from someone else first then only from your mouth? Do I have to always be the one to always ask and ask and ask as if I am that desperate??? I am sick and tired of something so minor but has been the major pain in my butt since the end of secondary school.

我很在乎这一段友情但是我已经忍无可忍!!!!!!!!

It is already time to let go. When I say I let go, it is because I utterly am despaired and disappointed with this sort of friendship. I prayed and I asked, but maybe the answer is to stop caring and ignore this sort of bad influence and move on. Like my real true friend said, i have many more friends than they ever have, but the only reason why I never left is because I cared. Now that I don't care. I have more time elsewhere and on people who really do care. 

I haven't been myself for a long time. I will be more selfish from now on and say whatever you want and do whatever you like. I'm washing my hands off you people. Thank you shout out to someone who have comforted me and told me we are friends forever caused our parents are too. You made me smile when I was really down and angry. You have my word, I will treasure you unless you do otherwise.. Look forward to tomorrow and NEVER look back! Because looking back will just make me think of people who have betrayed my trust and loyalty!!! No matter what happens, I have God by my side. I know myself and I know there are things even i can't control but I am always guided and never alone..