Missing.....

I thought I finally found the missing piece... But its just the fragments of it that I've found... Or it might just be my imaginations... I've finally realised that life is not as simple as it seems... There are more to it than meets the eye... There are things that I couldn't see and feel.. But its there... The truth that I seek will never appear if I didn't search deep enough.. But now I know, the only truth i that i was imaginating too much... There is only friendship... no other.... A big mistake and the worst mistake of telling... Its also wrong from hiding it last time.. Its just silly of me... But its the truth that I've to face....
Watching years pass, watching you there, watching you grow to be a better person.... I'll only be able to watch,... I won't be able to be there for you or to be part of it.. Because I'm just an ordinary friend that you may soon forget because you've found the most important person in your life that can be with you and be there for you.... I've to accept it... It was my fault that I let go... So its your life now... I'm envious but happy for though it hurts inside.. I was just hoping for another chance but its too late...
The piece that i threw away will remain missing forever.. till the day I achieved my 下一站莘福。。。。 There'll always be a hole and a fragment missing from my life... Total happiness won't come flying.. But it is to be achieved. I've to change what I am to what I will be and not the one I am now... Change for a better... Watching dramas are just fantasies...   Happy endings and sad climax are just in a movie...Only acted out and written out by script writers.... I shouldn't be so naive to believe that it would come true and there is such thing as replay,repeat or pause... or even stop now continue later... I should be more than awake now.. I should live life that is hard and real... no more virtual and imaginative life...  Once it passed... there will not be a next stop....It is not like missing a bus you can take the next... Life is hard and it waits for no one and there will not be another chance....
Studies and Work will be the next target.. I should leave all the unhappy moments behind but remember and cherish the happy moments i've had before... I will not forget those who have been helping me and supporting me all these while... I'll not forget those who have hated and pin pointed at me... This is not because I would like to have revenge but its to thank them.. Or else, I wouldn't have been successful.. Because what I've achieved is for them to see that I'm  better than them and I can do better than them at anytime just say the word...
Millions of hopes are crushed almost every second in this world... I won't be the one who get my hopes and dreams crushed... I'll maintain my strength and courage to fight on.. Even if it does crushes my hopes and dreams, I will fight on because it is not the end.. There will be other opportunities waiting for me to grasp them. Meaningful life to lead ahead even without the other half of myself being there for me.. maybe the other half would appear in the time i need most in the future.. But i know its not now....